i. Read chapter 2
ii. Post your response to the activity on page 54 and
iii. Choose one other activity: page 56 (use the editorial option), 63, or 81. Post your response, title with page number
iv. Respond to two other posts.
50 comments:
***your response should look like:***
Name: Page # of activity.
Response to activity.
Remember to post your activities early, so everyone has a chance to reply to two posts by Friday. If everyone waits until the last minute, then no one can get full credit for the blogs.
Rhen Brooks
Joel Caris Activity(PG 54)
Response-
1. In the last paragraph of the article the writer states the purpose of frustration. He states how public school should not bwe worrying about corporate sponsorship. When such things are put before education it effects the main purpose of the school itself.
2. In the second parapgraph Caris gives all of the background information on the prize of $10,000. The reader is informed about how the school could be frustrated at the two boys that wore the Pepsi shirts. It is wrong that the school suspended the boys just in effort to win the money, though.
3. Yes, in the last paragraph. The last sentence states the theme of the entire article. "However, public schools can not be compromising their objectivity and true purpose-education-to appease corporations with deep pockets and a burst of genorosity in the face of free advertising.
4. Yes, in the last paragraph he explains how the problem could be resolved. He explains every bad point on the schools decision to suspend the boys.
5. In the fifth parapgraph it shows many areas where the readers could object against Caris' ideas. He writes that Greenbrier was anxious and eager to suspend the boys and the article also states that the school forced the students to participate in the events on "Coke Day." Many people, especially that side with the school would think differently on these two points than a parent of those two boys.
6. I think that in the last paragraph the writer hopes to get people as interested in this problem as much as he is. He explains many points about how education should come first. That is true and many people know it. After reading that last paragraph many people would relate to the feelings of Joel Caris.
Rhen Brooks
Loose or Periodic(PG 63)
1. Periodic sentence- In order to defend and protect the women and children who were left on the plantation when the white males went to war, the slaves would lay down their lives.
- More Loose- The slaves would lay down their lives to protect the women and children when the white males went away to war.
- The tone seems less serious when you write in loose form. I don't think the purpose changes much because it still expresses the same points.
2. Original- English is not my forte, therefore, I know for this class I am challenging myself to expand my vocabulary, adjust to a faster paced learning enviroment and perfect my grammar.
Loose- Englsih isn't my best subject, so for this class I am challenging myself by learing many new things.
Danny Holland: Page 54 Response
Response:
1: The writer expresses his reason for addressing this problem in the last paragraph, where he states that public schools should not participate in corporal findings. The writer indicates in previous paragraphs that it takes over the true reason of having a school and takes away free will of the students.
2: The second, third, and fourth paragraphs in the argument give the reader background information about the event. It also helps make a setting for the argument.
3: During the last paragraph, the writer clearly states that these types of events only hurt public schools. It causes the schools to restrict basic individualities just for a shot at free money.
4: During the last paragraph the writer gives details on the reasons why public school would participate on these types of activities such as inadequate amounts of money as well as corporate sponsorship.
5: In the last two paragraphs, the writer says that it is completely understandable that schools participate in these kind of events because of the small amount of money they are given. He/she also argues that this is the reason for this kind of behavior; lack of money in public schools can cause incidents like this to happen.
6: When the writer states that "By allowing such things to take place, we are hurting our education system-a system that has suffered too many blows as it is", he/she is implying that we should not do these things so the public system won't be hurt any more than it already has been. The reader will have sympathy for the public school systems and not support corporate sponsorship.
Rhen,
After reading your response to the activity on corporal sponsoring (Pg 54), I think that you fully comprehend the message that the writer is trying to give and that you have fully grasped what the author is trying to persuade the reader to do. I agree with you on most of the points and I think you answered all of the questions well with details of the article to back up your assumptions. Good work.
-Danny Holland
Danny Holland: Pg. 63 activity
Response:
1: This is a periodic sentence. You can tell because additional details are added before the basic sentence element.
More loose:
The slaves would lay down their lives, in order to protect the women and children who were left on the plantation when the white males went to war.
-This type of sentence will quickly inform the reader about the events happening in this speech or essay.
Another version of periodic:
In order to protect the women and children who were left on the plantation, the slaves would lay down their lives when the white males went to war.
-this periodic sentence gives details before finishing the sentence. Although delaying the main subject, it makes the sentence sound more professional and formal.
Original: Having learned violin, flute, oboe, and saxophone, I am more than confident in my ability to interpret music and help other band members learn their parts.
-This sentence is more periodic since it gives details in the beginning, thus postponing the basic subject. It sounds more professional than if it was more loosely written. This sentence sounds more businesslike than if it was written loosely.
More loose:
I am more than confident in my ability to interpret music and help other members learn their parts since I have already learned violin, flute, oboe, and saxophone.
-Making the sentence more loose has picked up the speed of comprehending what the essay is saying. It cuts to the point, and gives details later.
Jenny Wheeler: pg 54
Response-
1. The last paragraph of the article states the topic of the composition. The central argument that the writer is trying to make is that public schools seem to be worried more about corporate sponsorship over the education system itself. The writer doesn't think that the schools should be compromising education for some spare cash.
2. The overall background information started in the second paragraph and ended around the fourth paragraph. The writer tells what Coke day was about, how the students decided to express their drink prefrences, and how they were suspended for putting their schools chances at risk.
3. Yes, the last sentence of the paper basiclly sums the paper and Caris's feelings. This shows how important education is important to him.
4. This answer is found in the last paragraph. He says that schools shouldn't be partaking in corporate sponsorship, even if they are eager for extra cash.
5. In the second and the fifth paragraph, Caris states how the events of Coke Day were mandatory which compromised the events of the classroom.
6. The last paragraph of the article basically sums up the entire article. Caris is trying to show us the importance of education over corporate sponsorship.
Jenny Wheeler: pg 63
1. Periodic- In order to defend and protect the women and children who were left on the plantation when the white males went to war, the slaves would lay down their lives.
Loose- The slaves were ready to give their lives to protect the women and children after the men went to war.
Even though you change the format, I think that the purpose and ethos of the speaker. The loose format puts the sentence mor in lamens terms and easier to understand, not as serious.
2. Periodoc- In 1492, Columbus and his crew, with the help of the king and queen of Spain, set sail for new lands.
Loose- Columbus traveled to new lands in 1492 with help from the king and queen.
The purpose and ethos of the sentence stayed the same. The tone of the sentence was lighter than the original.
Greg Baugher
Page 63
Part I
I think the statement is periodic. The basic sentence is "the slaves would lay down thier lives." The rest of the information is preceding the basic sentence.
You can make the orignal statement more periodic by placing the extra information in the middle of the sentence. "The slaves, in order to protect the children of the white men who were off fighting, would lay down their lives."
You can also rewrite the sentence to make it sound more loose. "The slaves would lay down their lives, in order to protect the children of the white men who were off fighting."
I think the original periodic sentence emphasizes more of why the slaves were doing what they did. It makes the point of the sentence seem more like it is about "why" and not "who." However, in the peridoic sentence where I put the information in the middle, it sounds like the sentence is about the what the slaves and not so much why or what they were doing.
In a more loose sentence, I think you can see large changes in tone from a periodic one. I think the tone is more informal because it sounds much shorter and more to the point than periodic sentences of the same statement. The loose sentences do sound easier to understand, but they may lead the reader to think the writer doesn't have facts to put in his or her sentences.
Part II
Original sentence (taken from an old English essay) - "Since the creation of the designated hitter rule, baseball has changed drastically from what it once was."
I think this is a periodic sentence. I can make it more loose by rearanging it. "Baseball has changed drastically since the creation of the designated hitter rule."
I think the original sentence sounds more thought out than the loose one. However, the loose sentence is more to the point, so it is easier to read.
Stephanie Floyd: PG 54
1. The subject of this letter is about two boys who got suspended for wearing shirts with Pepsi logos on them- the author spends the first five paragraphs explaining the circumstances which led to these boys’ suspension. The central argument of this editorial is in the sixth, and last, paragraph. That argument is that, “Public schools should not be partaking in corporate sponsorship.”
2. The first five paragraphs explain the background information of this event.
3. “Most schools do not consider wearing a Pepsi shirt as a punishable offense. Greenbrier, however, did…” These two sentences, found in the last part of the first paragraph, state the problem and hooks readers to want to know more. The author goes on to explain in the fourth paragraph that it is frightening that a school would act that way just because they were faced with the possibility of free money- which is why, he says, schools should not partake in corporate sponsorship.
4. The author elaborates on the solution of eliminating corporate sponsorship within schools when he concludes his letter with, “Public schools cannot be compromising their objectivity and true purpose- education- to appease corporations with deep pockets and a burst of generosity in the face of free advertising.”
5. There is not a part that examines possible objections to the answer; because this is an editorial it wouldn’t make sense to put the subject up for argument- the author wants you to see it his way.
6. The “So what?” question is answered in the last paragraph when he says that public schools shouldn’t be allowed corporate sponsorship.
In response to your PG 63 assignment:
Greg,
I agree with you- I thought the sentence was periodic as well. I also thought your revision of the sentence, where you put the extra information in the middle, flowed nicely and it was actually more effective than the original.
And I too think that you can see changes in tone easier in loose sentences because of the "to the point" tone.
-Stephanie
Jenny,
I agree with you with the loose and periodic sentences. About when you write in loose it makes it sound less serious. And periodic format makes the writer sound more serious. Great minds think alike, haha. Good job!
Rhen Brooks
Shelby Mason: Pg. 54
1.The wiriter begins his arguement by letting you know that he is clearly upset with schools for unjustly punishing a student over a pepsi shirt. At the end of the arguement the author allows you to know that his central arguement is corporate sponsorship in schools. I feel that in the beginning the central arguement is implied, but at the end he bluntly states his point.
2. In this column by Joel Caris the background information is given in the second through third paragraphs. He thouroughly explains the contest for both $500 and $10,000. He also gives information on the 'Coke-Day activites' and the reason the student and his friend decided to wear the shirts.
3. The author states his theme and position on the arguement in the last two sentences of the editorial when he says "...[I]t is understandable that they would be eager to come across a little extra cash. However, public schools can not be compromising their objectivity and true purpose-education...".
4. In the fourth and fifth paragraphs of the column he sums up the answer to be that schools should not beg for corporate funding and loose sight on their total goal, which is education of the future.
5. In the last paragraph there is a sentence where he says he understands the lack of school funding and the need for money, however they need the money for education and should never loose sight of that purpose.
6. I feel that Caris's "So what?" is an implied answer and is basically just saying that we need to help keep schools on track for their true purpose, education.
Shelby Mason: Pg. 63
1. Peridoic: In order to defedna dn protect the women and children who were left on the plantation when the white males went to war, the slaves would lay down their lives.
Loose: The slaves would lay down their lives when the men went to war, in order to protect the women and children.
--I think that in a loose sentence it is just the basics of the information while the periodic form is very descriptive. I can see a loose sentence expressing less important items of a story and periodic being used to emphasize the important facts. The purpose of the sentence changes only in how important the fact seems but the meaning is still the same.
2. Periodic: After having a stroke, being without nourishment for days, and finally getting a feeding tube, my great grandmother's health is slowly deteriorating.
Loose: My great grandmother's health is decling after a very chaotic time in the hospital.
The tone of voice sounds very nonchalant in the loose sentence as opposed to periodic sentence which seems more serious.
Brittany Murphy
Joel Caris activity on page 54
1. In the last paragraph, the author states his central purpose for writing the text. He very directly states "Public Schools should not be partaking in corporate sponsorship." He believes that education should be the public school system's top priority, not free money. This intrigues the audience and leads them to believe the author is backing up his statement with further points.
2.Yes, there is a part that explains some background information the author feels is necessary to explain his reasoning. This occurs in the majority of the text between the second and fifth paragraphs when the author tells the story of a student who was suspended from his high school in Evans, Georgia for wearing a shirt with a Pepsi logo on it.
3.Yes, the last two paragraphs focus the reader's attention on whether or not public school systems should participate in corporate sponsorship. The author states his view on the subject when he wrote "What is frightening about this story is the school's reaction when faced with the possibility of free money." With the given background information, it is clear the author is trying to point our that the school's actions were wrong.
4. Yes, the fourth paragraph gives multiple back-up statements to prove his central argument.
5.In the last paragraph the writer states this: "Considering the funding crisis many schools are experiencing, it is understandable that they would be eager to come across a little extra cash." By saying this, he is confronting a possible argument somebody might have against his central idea.
6. In the sentence of the last paragraph the author states "...public schools cannot be compromising their objectivity and true purpose- education- to appease corporations with deep pockets and a burst of generosity in the face of free advertising." This sums up his point that schools should not forget their main goal of education while trying to find more funding.
Greg,
I agree with you when you said that a Loose sentence is more to the point and easier to read. A Periodoc sentence does tend to have more detail. Good job!
Brittany Murphy
Response to “Loose or Periodic” Activity on page 63
Part I
Original Sentence
In order to defend and protect the women and children who were left on the plantation when the white males went to war, the slaves would lay down their lives.
I think this sentence was more periodic because there were some added details in the middle of the sentence. You can make the sentence more loose by taking out some of the extra details and switching around the word ordering.
More Loose Sentence
The slaves would lay down their lives in order to defend and protect the women and children.
It is also possible to make this sentence even more detailed and periodic by adding additional details to the beginning and middle of the sentence.
More Periodic Sentence
Filled with just as much patriotism as the white males who left behind their plantations for war, the slaves were eager and ready to lay down their lives to defend and protect the women and children left behind on the plantation.
Part II
(I’m not currently writing any essays so I used the first sentence of an essay I wrote for English last year.)
Periodic Sentence (Original Sentence as well)
Julius Caesar was a brilliant Roman senator and successful general that defeated and destroyed his enemy, Pompey.
Loose Sentence
Julius Caesar defeated and destroyed his enemy.
The loose sentence does not sound as though out and descriptive as the more Periodic sentence does.
Brittany,
I enjoyed reading your Joe Carris activity. I think you really understood how to answer the six questions. Good job overall!!!
Shelby,
I think you did a very good job analyzing the text on page 54. I enjoy reading your comments because you have a very nice way with words and alot of times the questions we have to answer make alot more sense to me after I read your responses. So thank you for that and keep up the good work! =)
Brittany Murphy
Rhen,
I think that your response to the Activity on page 54 was really really good! It seemed very organized and thought out. You also noted some points that I failed to see. Overall I was very impressed. Great Job! =)
Brittany Murphy
Brittany,
I agree with you completely on the Loose and Periodic sentences. The fact you stated about taking out information and putting more details in are very true about the differences between the sentence styles. Good job!
Rhen Brooks
Shelby,
I liked your example from your own essay in the loose and periodical activity. I think you're correct in saying that the loose sentence doesn't sound as thought out. I think you also gave the reasopn when you said it lacks description. You also did a good job on the part with the sentence from the book.
Cortney Berry:(p.53-54)
Response to Coroporate Sponsorship of Schools activity.
1. The subject of the composition is in the first paragraph. A disturbing event occured at Greenbrier High School in Evans, Georgia. Yes, the reader can tell that the central argument is that the school choose to unfairly punish a student.
2. The second, third and fourth paragraphs describe the series of events that lead to the student's suspensions. The school choose corporate sponsorship over education, and unfairly suspended the two boys for wearing Pepsi shirts on Coke day.
3. The sentences and paragraphs are in support of the central argument, and not in contrast to it.
4. Yes, there is material purposefully set out to support the central argument. It is in the next to last, and the last paragraphs.
5. No. The writer presents his argument, and how he supports it, but never identifies possible objections to it. In last week's activity about women in the draft, the possible objections were clearly stated, and answered.
6. In the last paragraph the writer states "public schools should not be partaking in corporate sponsorship". He wants the reader to agree with him that he is correct in his views, and possibly to encourage people to stand against allowing the kind of situation that occured at Greenbrier High School to reoccur.
Cortney Berry (p. 63 activity)
1. The sentence is periodic. To make the original sentence loose, it could be written "The slaves would lay down their lives, in order to defend and protect the women and children who were left on the plantation when the white males went to war." An example of this sentence written in a more periodic way is "When the white males went to war, the slaves would lay down their lives in order to defend and protect the women and children who were left on the plantation."
The looser sentence has a more informal sound to it. The more periodic sentence puts more emphasize on the basic sentence, and reads slower.
Part II
Original sentence (Loose sentence): The olympic games should not be held in China because of the atrocious human rights conditions, and enormous amounts of pollution that exist there.
Written as periodic sentence.
Because of the atrocious human rignts conditions, and enormous amounts of pollution there, the olympic games should not be held in China.
By writing the sentence in a periodic way, the sentence has time to build to the conclusion that the olympics should not be held in China.
Shelby,
You did a really good job on the Joel Caris activity and I think you answered all the questions very thoroughly and correctly. Well done.
-Cortney
Brittany,
I agree with you on your loose and periodic sentences response. Everything seemed well thought out and very organized. Good job.
-Cortney
Cristine De Los Santos:Activity pg.54
Response
1. In the last section of this column, Joel Caris expresses his opinion on how the school should be worrying mor about their education and less about sponsorship.
2. In the second paragraph the writer informs us about how in Greenbrier High School it was Coke Day and that they were competing for 10,000 dollars.Without this background information the reader wouldn't really understand what the article is about.
3. The last sentence in the last paragraph basically sums it all up. The writer is trying to focus our attention by telling us that public schools can't be compromising their objectivity and education to appease corporation with generosity by free advertising.
4. Yes, the last paragraph supports the writer's argument on how public schools should not get involved in sponsorship, because they are only hurting their education.
5. In the fifth paragraph the school shows a possible objection because they're demonstrating their eagerness for the money that they suspend these two kids for simply expressing their preference of Pepsi insted of Coke. By suspending these two boys the school shows that they are more interested in the money than in education.
6. In the last paragraph the writer tries to convince the readers in agreeing with him by saying how public schools should take more interest in their education than in their funding crisis because they are just hurting their education system even more.
Stephanie Floyd: PG 81
(Paragraph from Anatomy and Physiology book)
Original: When you fixate on something within 30m (100 feet) away, each eye views it from a slightly different angle and focuses its image on the fovea centralis. The point on which the eyes are focused is called the fixation point. Objects farther away than the fixation point cast an image somewhat medial to the foveas, and closer objects cast their images more laterally. The distance of an image from the two foveas provides the brain with information used to judge the position of other points relative to the fixation point.
Slang:When you look at something far away, each eye sees it from a different position and focuses what it sees with the fovea centralis, also known as the pit of the retina or the black part of your eye- this part is responsible for sharp vision and helps with watching television and reading. The point on which the eyes are focused on is called the fixation point. If anything is farther away than the fixation point what you see is more central or in the middle, whereas something closer would be seen at more of a sideways angle. The distance of an image from your two foveas- the part that your eyes use to see- provides the brain with information used to judge the position of whatever it is you are looking at to the fixation point, or where your eyes are focused.
Cristine De Los Santos:
Activity on pg 63
1.-Periodic sentence- In order to defend and protect the women and children who were left on the plantation when the white males went to war, the slaves would lay down their lives.
-Loose- The slaves would lay down their lives, to defend and protect the women and children.
Even though the format of the sentence is changed, the purpose of these sentences still stay the same. But it sounds less serious when it is writen in a loose form.
2.(I'm not writing any essays so I used an essay I wrote last year.)
-Periodic- The Decline of Rome, which was very important in history because of the diseases spread through trading, was caused by many factors including the weakening of the central government.
-Loose- The Decline of Rome was caused by many factors including weakening of the central government.
In response to your PG 54 assignment-
Jenny,
I thought you understood Caris' editorial and answered the questions well. I couldn't find anything wrong with what you wrote because it all seemed accurate to me! :)
-Stephanie
Shelby,
i think you did a pretty good job on the activity on page 54 and also on the activity of periodic and loose sentences. Good Job!
Brittany,
I agree completly with your response on the activity about peroidic and loose sentences. Good Job =)
Rhen,
I think you did a very good job analyzing the Joel Caris column and thought out your answers very nicely. I really enjoyed reading it. Watch your typing though because I did notice some typos. Overall, well done.
-Shelby
Brittany,
I enjoyed reading your post and drawing ideas from your words. It was a really helpful tool in brainstorming. Keep up the good work and maybe I can help you out one day. Good Job!!
-Shelby
Cortney,
I read your response to the loose and periodic sentence activity and I believe that you fully understand the concept. Everything you said seemed accurate and knowledgeable. Good work!
-Danny
Cecilia Bulzomi
Joel Caris activity Page 54:
1) The paragraph that blatantly spells out what the article is trying to say is the last paragraph. It says the author's opinion and sums up the entire article. The central argument is that school is for learning not promoting large companies.Also it state that since it is a public school kids should be able to express their opinions freely.
2) In paragraphs 1-4 it gives you a backround on the whole situation with a school trying to hard to get extra money from a big company while shirking it's duty to actaully teach the students.
3)I think that a sentance that really stands out in the whole article was "What is really frightening about this story is the schools reaction when faced with the possiblity of free money." i reallt think that sets the tone of the article and shows what the author is leading into.
4)The second to last paragraph sets out the material for the authors opinion. The whole paragraph shows the material.
5)I don't see anything that would object to what the author is saying in this article.
6)I think the last sentance shows the "So What" question because it states what he thinks the schools should and should not be doing.
Cecilia Bulzomi
Page 63:
1)I think that the sentence UP From Slavery is in loose form.
~ Slaves would lay down their lives in order to defend and protect the women and children who were left on the plantation when the white males went to war.
~While the white males went to war, the slaves would lay down their lives to protect and defend the women who were left on the plantation.
2) Original- On June 6th 2008, two people were joined in matrimony, in the Washington DC Temple, one of these people were my older sister Cassie.
Loose- My sister Cassie got married in the Washoington DC Temple on June 6th 2008.
Greg-
For your post on page 63 you seem to really understand the material. Once i read yours i got a better grasp on what we were supposed to be learning.
Rhen-
In your response to the activity on page 54 your writing was really good. You used great words that made it obvious you knew what was going on in the story. You did have a few typing mis-haps so you might want to check your work a little more thoroughly next time.
Skylar Haigler pg.54
Response to activity.
1. Paragraph five expresses the feeling and thoughts of the writer as well as letting the reader know what the subject of the complaint is. The central question is obviously “why did Cameron get suspended for wearing a non-offensive shirt?” and the answer is clearing the fifth paragraph. There is also a very clear indication that the writer is against the corporate funding that the editorial is about.
2. Paragraph two clearly explains the setting of the day and the content of the day. It is very difficult to understand how wearing the shirt would have been to detrimental to the school without first understanding the situation.
3. The last sentence definitely uses the strongest language in conveying thought and feeling. It is the most persuasive part of the entire paper and serves as a way to keep the reader’s attention until the very last word.
4. Paragraph three, while short, tells the reader that these activities were performed in the classrooms in lieu of normal classroom activities. This is then strengthened later with the argument that corporate sponsorships distract from learning and are detrimental to education.
5. In the last paragraph the writer mentions that the school lacks necessary funding and that corporate sponsors are a way of boosting available money.
6. The “so what?” question is obviously implied, and is not hard to find. The answer is that education should be education, and not a place of free advertising and money earning.
Skylar Haigler
Pg.81
Response to activity.
You can also style yer delivery so people can hear some words louder--setting ‘em off in a paragraph with dashes and marks, or all-capsing ‘em or lowercasing ‘em. Re-creating dialect with yer spelling or word choice can affect delivery too. Delivery’s about how it sounds, but it’s also about how it’s heard. Everythin here’n lotsa others that’re about delivery of the text, affect how the writer’s central idea is brought across’n how much the reader’ll trust them.
Brittany,
In your more loose sentence, "The slaves would lay down their lives in order to defend and protect the women and children." you did make it more informal, but did it come at the cost of some crucial information? Why did they lay down their lives? Why would their lives need to be put in danger for others? What do the women and children need defense from? Sometimes it's not the best choice to leave out information that can leave hanging questions such as these.
-Skylar Haigler
Rhen,
The overall concept of your posts are very well written. Kudos to your vocabulary, but I would advise that you watch out for typos.
-Skylar Haigler
Brittany,
I really think you grasp the concept of loose and periodic. I think you did a great job on your examples, and it looks like you understand it. Good job!
Samantha Corker
Joel Caris, “Corporate Sponsorship of Our Schools” Pg.41
1. I believe you can find the subject and get insight into what the purpose of this essay may be in the first paragraph where the author wrote, “A somewhat disturbing event occurred in Evans, Georgia. Greenbrier High School suspended a 19 year old student, Mike Cameron, for wearing a Pepsi shirt.” The central question of this essay is how a school can punish a boy for wearing a Pepsi shirt. The central argument is that a school punishing a boy for wearing a non offensive shirt is wrong especially when he is being punish because it will make it less likely for his school to win money.
2. Yes, there is necessary background information given in the second thru fifth paragraphs. The author tells how the day was devoted to the coca-cola company and how the boy was suspended.
3. No, all of the sentences support the central argument of the paper.
4. Yes, the fifth and sixth paragraphs give many statements that are used to support the central argument.
5. Yes, I believe that there are places in the paper where the reader can make objections. For example, in the last paragraph the author states the “considering the funding crisis many schools are experiencing, it is understandable that they would be eager to come across a little extra cash.” This makes it easy for the reader to think that maybe the school really needed the money to help the classes and they were worried the troublemaking boys would ruin there chances and it would punish the other students.
6. Yes, in the last paragraph the author clearly states the he believes “public schools can not be compromising their objectivity and true purpose- education- to appease corporations with deep pockets” and he expects the reader to agree with him.
* Mr. Holt I understand this is late and so are my assignments from last week but my computer has been down and with my lack of a licensed driver, I am unable to get to one that works until Sundays. I have to wait until the power workers can fix the lines affected by the storms and I hope you understand that and consider that when grading my summer assignment. :)
Samantha Corker- pg. 63
1. Periodic sentence- In order to defend and protect the women and children who were left on the plantation when the white males went to war, the slaves would lay down their lives.
Loose sentence- Slaves would lay down their lives in order to protect the women and children who where left on the plantation when the white males went to war.
More periodic sentence- The slaves, in order to defend and protect the women and children who were left on the plantations when the white males went to war, would lay down there lives.
I believe that the purpose of all of these sentences it still the same. They all get the point across that the slaves would die if they had to in order to protect the women and children, but I do see that the tone of the loose sentences seems to have less emphasizes and the more periodic sentence seems more serious. The ethos of the speaker changes as well. In the loose sentence it seems more casual like a conversation but the periodic and the more periodic sentences seem to show to me a serious discussion, like a teacher would have in a class room. It just seems like a formal way to say it.
2. Original- In hopes of finding its mother, the duck swam to the other side of the pond.
Loose sentence- The duck swam to the other side of the pond to find its mother.
More periodic sentence- The duck, in hopes of finding its mother, swam to the other side of the pond.
I think the more periodic sentence makes it seem serious. While the other two sound like statements and seems lighter.
Samantha Corker- pg. 63
1. Periodic sentence- In order to defend and protect the women and children who were left on the plantation when the white males went to war, the slaves would lay down their lives.
Loose sentence- Slaves would lay down their lives in order to protect the women and children who where left on the plantation when the white males went to war.
More periodic sentence- The slaves, in order to defend and protect the women and children who were left on the plantations when the white males went to war, would lay down there lives.
I believe that the purpose of all of these sentences it still the same. They all get the point across that the slaves would die if they had to in order to protect the women and children, but I do see that the tone of the loose sentences seems to have less emphasizes and the more periodic sentence seems more serious. The ethos of the speaker changes as well. In the loose sentence it seems more casual like a conversation but the periodic and the more periodic sentences seem to show to me a serious discussion, like a teacher would have in a class room. It just seems like a formal way to say it.
2. Original- In hopes of finding its mother, the duck swam to the other side of the pond.
Loose sentence- The duck swam to the other side of the pond to find its mother.
More periodic sentence- The duck, in hopes of finding its mother, swam to the other side of the pond.
I think the more periodic sentence makes it seem serious while the other two sound like statements and seems lighter.
Rhen,
I think you did a really great job on your "Loose or Periodic" assignment. You really seemed to understand the difference and did a great job showing that.
Brittany,
Your Joel Caris essay post is really great. I think you answered the questions well and you brought up ideas I didn't think of when I was writing my answers. Great job!
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